


Battle of Wills Part Two - Turks Edition

by CloudStrifeIsMySpiritAnimal



Series: Telling Time with a Broken Watch [4]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, BAMF Cloud Strife, Crack, Featuring Pettyroth, Gen, Reno's a nice guy beneath all the hair gel, Rude is done with this bullshit, Sassy Cloud Strife, Sephiroth is bad at pretending he's normal, attempt at humor - maybe?, workplace shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28086807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudStrifeIsMySpiritAnimal/pseuds/CloudStrifeIsMySpiritAnimal
Summary: Suspecting Sephiroth of hiding something, the Turks send Reno and Rude to investigate; Sephiroth sends Cloud.*Set roughly anywhere between chapters 9 and 31 of Telling Time with a Broken Watch, but can be read independently!*
Relationships: Reno & Rude (Compilation of FFVII), Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Series: Telling Time with a Broken Watch [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018923
Comments: 120
Kudos: 379





	1. The Bugging of Sephiroth's Office

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I promised I would do this so here it is :) I can't guarantee these will all be in chronological order, I'm probably just gonna post them as they occur to me. Maybe when I'm done I'll arrange them into somewhat of a timeline. Also, if you haven't read the fic, basically Seph and Cloud travel to the past and end up at Crisis Core era Shinra, and the Turks (predictably) become super suspicious. By this point Cloud has already been giving Reno and Rude the run around for some time, trying to keep them off of Sephiroth's trail.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth’s office gets wiretapped. 
> 
> Occurs somewhere in the middle of ch. 21, before cloud and sephiroth start to have domestic problems.

The area just outside of Sephiroth’s office was abnormally quiet as Cloud strode along the suspiciously abandoned hall, booted feet clicking dully against the steel grey floors. The normally occupied secretary’s desk was currently vacant, Samantha apparently off running errands or on her mid-afternoon coffee break. He passed it without a second thought, sparing a curious glance towards the closely drawn shades concealing the large paneled windows of the silver demon’s workspace as he reached confidently for the door handle.

Inside the room was surprisingly dark, a faded blue tarp arranged carefully across the newly repaired glass wall with nothing but the small green desk lamp to shed any light. Framed against the meager brightness was the hulking form of Sephiroth, back turned to Cloud as he gazed intently up at the ceiling.

“Uh…”

Instantly the silver demon whirled, a singular gloved finger raised to his perfectly arched lips in, green eyes glittering against the shadows.

Cloud raised an eyebrow, questioning.

In response Sephiroth cupped a hand to his ear before pointing meaningfully up at the drywall tiles above them.

Cloud frowned in confusion, shaking his head.

Sephiroth huffed, silver brows pulling together in frustration before he abruptly spun, leather coat whipping behind him as he rummaged through the mess of items on his desk. The broad expanse of his shoulders concealed his motions from view, but following a series of rustling and scratching sounds, he turned back to Cloud, brandishing what appeared to be a sad-looking report and a black ball-point pen. Holding up the stack of papers at eyelevel, he flipped them, revealing the words hastily scrawled across the back:

_**Office bugged. Can’t talk.** _

Cloud bit back a smirk, reaching out mentally to ask, _Where?_

Sephiroth nodded sharply, scrambling to put pen to paper again as he scribbled:

_**Ceiling.** _

This time Cloud couldn’t help it, his lips twitching involuntarily upwards as he leaned back, crossing his arms smugly. Sephiroth’s face twisted in confusion for a moment before abruptly going slack. His hands fell to his sides.

_Oh._

Cloud had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing, taking a purposeful step forward into the room. _Yeah. So uh…when did this happen?_

Sephiroth shrugged, coming to stand by Cloud’s shoulder. _I took a break at about noon. It was here when I got back._

 _Hmm._ Frowning in concentration, Cloud tilted his head gently to the side, searching for the familiar buzz that would indicate a listening device. Sure enough he could hear a faint noise from up above them, the echoing quality indicating it was somewhere surrounded by metal. He took another step forward, coming to a stop directly beside the heavy mahogany desk, eyes tilting upwards to stare past the slatted great in the ceiling and into the dark maw of the air vent.

_Gotcha._

Smirking in satisfaction, he turned back to the desk, firmly gripping either edge in his gloved hands as he began to drag it forward across the carpet. Instantly a hand on his bicep stilled him, Sephiroth’s slit-pupiled eyes staring down at him in confusion. _What are you doing?_

Cloud glanced meaningfully up at the air vent. _I mean…unless you want to give me a boost instead?_

Sephiroth blinked slowly, shaking his head as he took a step back and walked to the other end of the desk. Giving Cloud a curt nod, they both lifted, carrying the heavy item sideways by a few feet until it was positioned directly where Cloud needed it. Without hesitation Cloud stepped forward, sweeping the corner of the desk clear before hopping up onto the smooth, dark surface. Reaching up, he deftly removed the grating, handing it down carefully to Sephiroth who stood waiting below. Biting his lip in concentration, he felt a searching hand along the inside of the vent, dragging his fingers along the thin metal walls as he looked for the telltale bump that would signify device.

Finding nothing, he retracted his arm, frowning. _It must be farther up,_ he mused, briefly wondering how the Turks managed to get that far into the ventilation system without Sephiroth noticing. Had they sent someone up there early morning to wait for a silver demon to go on a break? No, it would have been easier to just plant the bug overnight, when the office was empty. Maybe…

 _Cloud_.

 _Right._ He shook his head to clear it, bracing a hand against either side of the vent and kicking up off of the desk. Swinging his body forward, he managed to pull his upper half into the narrow passageway, immediately suppressing a cough as a thick cloud of dust blew up into his face. Blinking furiously, he inched himself forward, listening eagerly for the tell-tale buzz. He finally found it a few feet further in, peeling it off the metal walls with a slight grimace and pinching it firmly in two

_Got it._

_Good. Need help getting down?_

_Nope, I’m –_ He broke off abruptly, body shuddering in a powerful sneeze that nearly had him banging his head against the low ceiling of the crawlspace. Cheeks flushing red with embarrassment, he wiggled the rest of the way backwards, dropping down to his feet and brushing off his dusty uniform.

Above him, Sephiroth smirked. “I do hope you disabled it before that little accident?”

Cloud huffed in indignation, holding up the crushed remnants of the device clearly for Sephiroth’s approval. “You’re welcome,” he drawled sarcastically.

Sephiroth hummed, reaching forward to take the shattered bits of metal and plastic. “It would appear that our dear stalkers are growing bolder.”

Cloud grimaced, straightening. “I think they’ve also figured out I’m the one who keeps getting in their way.”

Sephiroth’s brow twitched in a meager show of worry. “Will that be a problem?”

Cloud shrugged. “Not really. I don’t think they have any substantial proof.”

“Since when have they required that?” Sephiroth asked with a frown.

Cloud snorted. “Since Reno made this a personal grudge match. Trust me, he won’t be eager to give up anytime soon.”

“Maybe so,” Sephiroth acknowledged sternly, “but he is nothing if not a professional.”

Cloud shrugged nonchalantly. “What are they going to arrest me for, being annoying? They can’t admit that I’m thwarting their investigation without admitting there’s something to investigate.”

Sephiroth gave a small humph of consideration. “I take it you have a plan, then?”

Cloud smirked, snatching back the recording device. “Just leave it to me,” he said glibly, making for the door. He stopped just at the threshold, turning to shoot Sephiroth a dubious look before nodding pointedly towards the discarded reports-turned notes. “And seriously, ‘the office is bugged, can’t talk?’"

Sephiroth shifted uneasily. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Cloud just rolled his eyes, tossing back one last mental, _idiot_ , before heading back out into the hall to deal with the other two idiots in his life.


	2. The Altercation in the Hall - aka, the Returning of the Bug

“Seriously? This guy again?”

Cloud suppressed a grin as the wild-maned red head and his stoic as ever partner deftly switched directions, ignoring the elevator in favor of approaching him instead. Reno was radiating all signs of exasperation, his appearance even more ruffled than usual and his aquamarine eyes glowing with barely restrained outrage as he neared. Cloud straightened slightly from where he leaned against the near wall, never once pausing his movements as he calmly juggled the small object between his gloved hands.

“Think you lost this,” he deadpanned, tossing the recording device at the unsuspecting redhead.

Reno caught it – barely – and exchanged a disbelieving glance with his partner. “You gotta be kidding me...”

Cloud smirked, crossing his arms smugly. “Sephiroth says to send a quieter one next time.”

The redhead glared. “Oh he does, does he?”

Cloud nodded.

Rude tilted his head, dark glasses unreadable as he gave a small “humph” of amusement. “We’ll keep that in mind.”

Reno, on the other hand, gaped at the SOLDIER, shaking his head in exasperation. “Listen here, blondie –,” he started, but Cloud cut him off.

“I thought you’d be glad to have it back,” he remarked calmly, adopting an expression of innocence. “Just think of it as recycling.”

Reno scoffed, lifting up the crushed recording device and shaking it angrily. “It’s broken!”

Cloud hummed, eying the object dispassionately. “Is it?”

“You realize that makes it rather difficult to reuse?” Rude asked, stepping forward slightly.

Cloud shrugged. “Not my problem.” 

“Oh but it’s gonna be!” Reno snarled, lips curling with derision. “I should write you up for interfering with an official investigation!”

Cloud shrugged again, completely unruffled. “Okay.”

Reno quirked an eyebrow, huffing in exasperation. “Okay?” he echoed, slightly dumbfounded.

“Yeah, I mean I was gonna file a report about you anyways. Seems like a fair tradeoff.”

“For what?” Reno sputtered, taking a confused step back. 

“Disrupting my boss’s workday. He’s a very busy man, you know.”

Rude snorted, adjusting his sunglasses. “And how, exactly, have we done that?”

“Sephiroth has very sensitive hearing,” Cloud explained calmly. “The buzzing noise from _your_ device was quite distracting.” 

Reno scoffed. “You gotta be kidding me.”

Cloud allowed his brow to furrow in disapproval, sternly drawing himself up to his full height. “We here at SOLDIER take work productivity very seriously. I’m not sure how you Turks operate, but we don’t tolerate such disruptions.”

Turquoise eyes narrowed. “Didn’t the whole of SOLDIER just go out to get hammered?”

“We would never do such a thing,” Cloud denied, shaking his head firmly.

“Oh? And what was it, then?” Reno asked, smirking in triumph. “Or did I not hear reports of SOLDIERs galivanting around Loveless Avenue last Friday?”

“We had very important, prescheduled bonding time between the ranks on that date.”

“Bonding time,” Reno echoed disbelievingly.

Cloud nodded. “Mmhmm. Builds trust. Essential to maintaining proper morale.”

Reno scoffed, shaking his head in exasperation. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment,” Cloud mused.

“What are you that makes you think you can walk around like you own the place, huh?”

Cloud shrugged, pushing off the wall. “I’m bored,” he said apathetically, “and I’m late for an appointment with Zack.”

The two Turks watched him in disbelief as he made to walk away, Reno jolting into action and calling out abruptly, “Yo, blondie!”

Cloud sighed wearily, turning around to face the duo. “I’ve got a name you know.”

Reno rolled his eyes. “Whatever. How ‘bout you answer my question?”

Cloud frowned, feigning innocence. “I thought I just did.”

Reno snarled, “Now you listen here, _Strife_ –,”

Cloud hummed with concern, taking a step backwards and holding up a hand in a mockingly defensive gesture. “Actually, you know, on second thought, I’m not sure I’m comfortable with you using my name. We’re not that close.”

“Look, I don’t care _what_ you wanna be called, I just want some answers. And I mean _real_ answers. Like what the hell are you?”

Blue eyes glanced confusedly to Rude, as if seeking confirmation. The bald Turk just shrugged, face remaining as impassive as ever.

Sighing, Cloud turned back to Reno. “What does my file say?”

“It’s conveniently empty,” Reno shot back, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

“I guess I’m not that interesting then,” Cloud conceded, willing his expression to stay relaxed and neutral.

Reno hissed, “You’re a real piece of work, aren’t ya?”

“I try,” Cloud allowed with a smirk, turning to walk away. He couldn’t resist one last parting jibe, though, and after a few steps he paused, eyes glinting mischievously. “And really, the air vent? That’s the most obvious location you could pick.” Feeling rather satisfied, he continued down the hall, leaving the pair gazing after him dumbfounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s super short, but I had it as a working document for awhile and it wasn’t getting any longer, so voila! Also I’m having a bit of writer’s block, so it was nice to just get something out there. I’ve been having migraines all week but I’m hoping I’ll be done with the next chapter for Telling Time etc. by tomorrow! 
> 
> Also why did I have to pick such a long name for it it’s exhausting to type out :(


	3. The Interrogation of Strife, C - Age 15 from Nibelheim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reno and Rude collect Cloud for his first Turk interview, and Reno finally learns his name. 
> 
> *Takes place before the first two one-shots, shortly after chapter 17* 
> 
> Also big thank you to TheRampagingWriter who gave me the idea for an interrogation like thing. I still think you should write a fic based off that one comment you made - it was hysterical.

“That’s a pretty big sword you got there, blondie. Sure you’re not overcompensating for something?

The spikey-haired SOLDIER turned, glancing up at the incoming duo and gracing them with a smirk. “Says the guy with the vibrating stick.”

Reno bit his lip to hold back the reluctant snort of laughter threatening to burst forth. Sure, the blond nuisance was becoming…well, a nuisance, but still. Game gotta respect game. And much as he hated to admit it, that was a good one. Still, he wasn’t about to show said nuisance that he found him genuinely funny, so instead he just sneered, offering snidely, “A guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do. Know what I mean?”

The Nuisance shrugged. “Not really. I’ve never had to resort to cheap tricks and gimmicks.”

“Well you might want to start today. Boss wants you downstairs.”

“Am I getting a promotion?” Nuisance asked, eyebrows raising in mock question. Ugh, Nuisance was such a hard word to say. Better stick to Blondie.

With that decided, Reno smirked. “Play your cards right and you might just find yourself facing some big changes.” Like a cell with bars, preferably.

But the Nuisance’s – _Blondie’s –_ eyes just sparkled knowingly. “Too bad I’m not ambitious, then.” Shifting confidently like he owned the damn place, he asked, “Well?” and pointed down the hall. “You gonna lead the way?” 

“Sure you don’t already know it?” Reno asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously, but Blondie just blinked back at him neutrally. 

“Should I?”

Silently caught between fuming and reluctant respect, Reno shrugged. “Should you? I don’t know. But that's not what I asked, SOLDIER boy.” Blondie’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly at that, giving the Turk moment for pause.

Before he could truly contemplate the reaction, however, Blondie was back to his usual, blasé self, remarking, “I would have thought you’d want to wait to start the interrogation.”

Reno scoffed. “Oh trust me, blondie. You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

A smirk. “That’s a high bar you’re setting.” 

“Don’t worry, with your height it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You calling me short?”

Reno shrugged. “If the shoe fits.”

Mako bright eyes glittered mischievously. “At least mine don’t have platforms in them.” 

Reno froze, his right eye twitching angrily. How the hell - 

But before he could say anything though, Rude was stepping forward, adjusting his glasses meaningfully. “I hate to break up the party, but we have somewhere we gotta be.

Reno snorted, glaring pointedly at the SOLDIER. “After you, blondie.”

Blondie just blinked innocently back at him. “But I don’t know the way.” Hmph. So he wouldn’t be easily tripped up. That was good to know. Ever since this Blondie had traipsed into SOLDIER and therefore into his life, nothing had been the same. He would have liked to say it was simply because the blond was a nuisance, but in truth it ran deeper. He knew things he shouldn’t - was way more adept than he let on. Not to mention that he seemed to report exclusively back to Sephiroth, who was acting weird in of himself. 

What the hell were those guys smoking during their convenient little vacation from Shinra? 

Reno shrugged. “Never hurts to double check.” 

Blondie - he had a name, something like Storm or Snowflake or something else equally as ridiculous - just smiled and followed as the Turks turned down the hall. Reno’s eyes narrowed as he assessed the man’s relaxed posture. He was way too comfortable for someone being marched down to the interrogation rooms for an 'interview.' “So,” he asked, throwing the words casually over his shoulder, “you scared?”

Blondie blinked back at him impassively. “Should I be?”

Reno hummed. “Depends. You got anything to hide?” 

Then the asshat did something _really_ weird. He smiled, lips curling with genuine amusement as he responded, “Nothing you’d believe.” 

_Nothing you’d believe?_ What the hell kind of answer was that? Reno stopped dead in his tracks, turning to stare down Blondie warningly. “If there’s something you want to tell us, blondie, I suggest you start talking. Boss man won’t be so nice as we are.”

Blondie gazed back calmly. “I’m terrified.” 

Reno scoffed. “Are you now?”

“Quaking in my boots. Can we go now? I have somewhere to be in half an hour.” 

“Oh you do, so you?” he hissed, fingers clenching angrily around his mag rod. “Well sorry to break it to you, but you’re just gonna have to cancel your plans.” 

Blondie just shrugged. “Okay. But Sephiroth won’t be happy about it.”

Gods dammit this kid was annoying. He should really learn his name – give some sort of label to his obnoxious ass face. Of course, who needed any other form of identification when their hair stuck up like the backside of a chocobo? Every time he walked by in the halls it was like his very appearance screamed “Notice me! Notice me!” Well Reno had certainly noticed, and he was far from happy about it. Someday, when the man’s stupid green-eyed owner wasn’t paying attention, he was gonna drag the brat behind one of the outbuildings and –

He shook himself. Time to get a grip. Focus on the mission now; fantasize about strangling Blondie later. Huffing, he dramatically declared, “I don’t give a shit about Mr. High and Mighty. If he has a problem, he can take it up with our boss.”

Blondie shrugged again. “Okay.” 

“Ha! Okay?” Reno sputtered, almost at a loss. “That’s all you have to say?”

Blue eyes blinked slowly, appearing almost obnoxiously vacant. “Is there something else you would prefer?”

_Yeah. To introduce your face to my fist._

Growling in frustration, Reno whirled, gesturing angrily to his partner. “Come on, Rude. Let’s get this delinquent down to detention before I haul him into the nearest bathroom and flush his stupid head down the fucking toilet!”

—————-

“Name and rank.”

“Cloud Strife, SOLDIER Third Class.” 

“Age?”

“...Fifteen.”

Reno frowned, staring through the one-way glass scornfully. “What kind of idiot doesn’t know his own age?”

Apparently Tseng was wondering the same thing, as the dark-haired Wuteian glanced down at his clipboard before mildly commenting, “You don’t sound so sure.” Across from him, Blondie shifted uncomfortably, gaze briefly flicking down to his lap.

Reno sighed, propping his feet up against the one-way glass and watching disinterestedly as Blondie confirmed that he was, indeed, fifteen years old. “This guy needs a psychiatrist.” 

“Seems perfectly sane to me,” Rude remarked beside him. The interrogation – sorry, _interview_ – had barely even started, and already the stupid blond SOLDIER was being a stubborn little bitch.

“Oh I’m sure he’s sane,” Reno scoffed, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning dangerously far back in his chair. If they were gonna be stuck here for a while – which it looked like they were – then he might as well have some fun. “But he’s definitely got at least a couple screws loose.” 

On the other side of the glass, Tseng was continuing his questions, sitting rigid and professional in the purposefully uncomfortable metal backed chair. “And you’ve been working for Shinra, how long?” Reno almost winced at the tinny quality the speakers added to his voice. 

“Almost two years.”

“In what capacity?”

“First as a regular trooper and now as a SOLDIER, I guess.” Blondie - _Strife,_ Reno mentally corrected – had yet to uncross his arms. 

Tseng hummed, his eyes narrowing calculatingly. “Because of the enhancements you received while away with Sephiroth.”

Strife just nodded. 

Dark eyebrows furrowed as Tseng looked across at him carefully. “Care to elaborate on that?”

“Nope.” 

“No you don’t want to or no you can’t?”

“Yes.”

Reno rolled his eyes. “I swear it’s like he’s got a death wish or something.” 

His partner shifted, polishing his glasses lazily against the dark pattern of his dress shirt. “Just because he can out stubborn you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with him.”

“What, are you kidding me?” Reno scoffed, gesturing vaguely to the glass. “He’s not even cooperating with civil questions!”

Rude shrugged. “Why would he? So far we have nothing on him.” 

“Nothing _yet,_ ” Reno corrected, shaking his head. Strife was good, but he _certainly_ wasn’t careful. Growling softly to himself, he turned back to the scene. Tseng was still as collected as ever, his dark eyes quick and scrutinizing as he prompted, “We were informed you are unable to recall the specifics of your enhancements, due to complications with mako poisoning.” 

Strife gazed neutrally back. “Uh huh.”

Tseng’s eyebrows rose. “So you agree with First Class Sephiroth’s assessment?”

“I don’t know. What did he say?” 

“As I said. That you are having memory issues as a result of your...accident.”

Strife sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Yes. I don’t remember the details because of mako bullshit. Now can we move on? Or is that really why you called me down here?”

“Damn,” Rude muttered under his breath, slipping his glasses back onto his face. “Kid has balls.” 

“Maybe someone should change that,” Reno huffed, glaring at the glass.

Rude hummed “Planning something already, partner?”

“Just saying he could use a trip to the vet, is all.” 

“Hmph. Somehow I don’t think Sephiroth likes his pets neutered.” 

“No, but Shinra does.” 

Rude huffed a laugh, wry and shallow in the cramped room. “Good luck putting a leash on Sephiroth.”

He had to concede that was a fair point. Sephiroth was…well, let’s just say the Turks said a daily prayer that he not go insane and massacre everybody. But still. “They could at least make him put one on Blondie,” he pointed out. 

Rude sighed, shooting his partner a steely glance. They both knew that was easier said than done. Strife wasn’t Sephiroth, true, but from what they’d gathered he was a formidable fighter in his own right. That in of itself was surprising, given that he should have had little to no actual experience on the job. Yet somehow he was clearing the mission boards with record pace - and that was when Sephiroth _didn’t_ have him glued to his side like the loyal little doggie he was. No, there would be no collaring this mutt. Not when his owner so clearly delighted in watching him wreak destruction.

“Do you need a moment, Third Class Strife?” came Tseng’s softly spoken tone. Momentarily caught off guard, Reno glanced up just in time to see Strife carefully avert the mako bright glare he had been leveling at his interrogator.

Strife sighed, rolling his eyes in obvious annoyance, but that was all it was: annoyance. There was no actual discomfort or anxiety as the man calmly shook his head and asked, “Wanna tell me what this is really about?”

Tseng shrugged. “I have some questions, is all.”

Strife sighed. “Then ask them. But fair warning, Sephiroth wants me in his office five minutes ago.”

Reno frowned, exchanging a quick look with Rude. Strife had indeed said he had an appointment in thirty minutes back in the hall, but there were purposefully no clocks in the interrogation room. So how did he know just how much time had elapsed? Meeting his gaze evenly, Rude tilted is wrist, exposing the sleek, company issued watch he always wore. Reno blinked stupidly. Blondie was right.

Maybe he was keeping track of the seconds or something.

Tseng eyed Strife impassively. “I’m afraid Sephiroth will just have to wait.”

“You’re gonna have to tell _him_ that.”

“What do you –,”

And just like that the door swung open, the Silver General’s hulking form looming across the threshold. “Apologies,” Sephiroth purred, sweeping into the room to stand protectively at Strife’s shoulder. “I’m afraid I have to borrow Third Class Strife for the foreseeable future.”

“Oh?” Tseng blinked, eyebrows actually raising in slight disbelief. “I do believe we have the authority to –,”

“Urgent mission,” Sephiroth cut him off, “approved by the President himself. You’ll have to finish conducting this interview another time.” With that he quickly crossed to the exit, beckoning Strife forward. “Come, Cloud.”

Reno watched with wide eyes as Strife obediently rose from his chair. Turk instincts kicking into high gear, he lurched from his seat as well, sprinting for the outside hallway. By the time he made it, Sephiroth and his pet were already several paces ahead of him, the door to the interrogation room just swinging closed on Tseng’s disbelieving expression.

Reno groaned in frustration, turning to watch as the figures disappeared around the corner. He could just make out the last echoes of their conversation.

“…really have to do that?”

That was Strife.

“Would you rather I’d not?”

“You could have at least refrained from counting down the seconds.”

Reno just shook his head. Godsdamn SOLDIERs and their mako-addled brains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So someone recently pointed out that I use epithets a lot, which I then had to look up what those were (I'm pretty new to writing lol) and yeah, I use them WAYYYYYY too much. I didn't even realize it. So after going through my fics and effectively purging them of epithets, I decided to write a one shot basically revolving solely around them. Except, I think this is actually a proper way of using them, and not just a fluff way. So anyways, have some Reno stream of consciousness as he seethes about how annoying Cloud is lol. I hope it's not confusing? This is basically how Reno learns what Cloud's name is, so for the majority of the fic he's just trying to figure out what to call him xD
> 
> Also sorry for the delay in updates for Broken Watch - I've been feeling super sick all week, and it's been really hard to concentrate. The next chapter is almost done! Also if this chapter for this fic seems incoherent, sorry :( my brain isn't functioning super well but I still wanted to write.


	4. The Break In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Turk HQ suffers a break in, and all signs lead to one potential suspect. 
> 
> *Takes place directly after chapter 15*

“Yo what’s up boss?”

Tseng straightened from where he leaned over the conference table, his normally pristine ponytail slightly askew and his expression just a tiny bit agitated. To anyone else the discrepancy would have been nearly impossible to notice, but for a seasoned Turk like Reno, it was just another part of the job description.

“Reno, Rude,” Tseng greeted curtly, giving them a halting nod.

“What’s with all the commotion?” Reno asked, gesturing to the many suits bustling about the small room.

Tseng sighed. “It appears we’ve had a break in.”

Reno blinked. “You’re shitting me.”

Tseng sighed. “Unfortunately not.”

“Anything taken?”

“Nothing physical, as far as we can tell. The Mainframe was hacked, but it will take some time before our Techs can decipher what they were after.”

“We got anything on the feed?” Rude asked, stepping forward.

Tseng shook his head. “The cameras were all fried, most likely through use of a Thunder Materia. A crude method, but effective nevertheless.”

“Who would want to break into our headquarters?” Reno asked, frowning as he examined the charred remains of the security system laid out on the table. When no one responded, he glanced up, only to find both of his coworkers staring at him dubiously. “Oh, right,” he laughed sheepishly. “Well, who would _dare_ to break into our headquarters?”

Tseng sighed, giving a halfhearted shrug. “I think the better question is who would have access to information about our base, for starters.”

“Maybe they just thought there was something interesting in these offices? Maybe they didn’t know this is where we worked.”

Tseng raised an eyebrow. “I’d be inclined to agree, if they’d actually _broken_ anything.”

Reno frowned. “Whaddya mean?”

“None of the locks were picked. None of the doors broken or the glass shattered.”

“How’d they get in, then?” Rude asked, crossing his arms.

“That is why I called for you two,” Tseng calmly explained, rotating the monitor of the nearest computer so they could clearly see what was on the screen. “Care to explain why your keycard was used at approximately 23:49 last night?”

Reno blinked, staring dumbly at his portrait, the digital image’s teal eyes staring back at him almost accusingly. “Uh…”

Beside him Rude sighed. “Did you lose your ID card again, Reno?”

“No! Of course not! It’s right –,” he broke off, fingers fumbling around blindly in the pocket of his suit. “ _Shit.”_

“Reno, what have I _told_ you about keeping track of your affairs?” Tseng chided, though there was a hint of fondness in his tone. Just a hint, though. “Do I need to refer you to desk duty again?”

“Hey, boss, I swear I had it right with me last night!” Reno protested, throwing his hands up innocently. “Remember Rude? I used it to swipe through the system right before –,” he cut off again, his face going slack with realization. “That little bitch.”

Rude glanced at him confusedly. “You don’t seriously think…?”

Tseng quirked an eyebrow. “Would one of you care to enlighten me on what’s going on?”

Reno huffed, hands balling into fists as he recalled, “Last night some random SOLDIER kid tried to grope me in the elevator. Thought he was just being clumsy at the time…”

Tseng frowned. “SOLDIER kid?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, that new blond number Sephiroth keeps parading around. His new trophy wife or whatever.”

Tseng straightened, his eyes widening marginally. “And you didn’t think this worth reporting?”

Reno shrugged. “Why would I? Like I said, I thought he was just trying to cop a feel or something.”

Rude rolled his eyes. “Catching his balance, more like.”

“Or pickpocketing you,” Tseng pointed out, leveling his gaze almost accusingly at Reno. “What floor did he get on?”

“This one,” Rude answered for him, his voice clipped. “We got off before him, but the cameras should be able to tell us where he got off after.”

Tseng frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in displeasure. “There was a shortage in one of the elevators as well last night. We lost all feed.”

Reno’s eyes widened. “Shit. I thought this kid was just some noob.”

“That well may be, but he’s been spending the past two months with Sephiroth, one of those completely under the radar of Shinra’s influence. There's no telling what he got up to, or what skills he may have acquired.”

Reno blinked. “You think they’re plotting something?”

“I have no idea what they are thinking, but Veld has asked me to consider it. At any rate, the circumstances regarding their disappearance and return are suspicious at best.”

“Well yeah, but it’s Sephiroth. Things are always wonky where the Firsts are concerned.”

Tseng raised an eyebrow. “Within an hour of returning to Shinra HQ, Infantryman Strife was ordered to the labs in Sephiroth’s place. Five hours after that the entire Science Department was nothing more than smoking rubble.”

Rude frowned. “Is he a suspect, then?”

“Unlikely,” Tseng replied curtly. “Our working hypothesis on that remains unchanged. But more concerning is the fact that this Cloud Strife most likely _does_ possess the strength and ability to have done so.”

Reno snorted. “His name is _Cloud?”_

Tseng nodded. “Cloud Strife, age fifteen from Nibelheim. Rejected from SOLDIER due to Mako sensitivity and a suspected weak psychological constitution, and now brimming with more enhancements than your average First.”

Reno scoffed. “That dweeb? He looks like he’d weigh sixty pounds soaking wet.”

“You’re one to talk,” Rude jibed, but Reno just ignored him.

Tseng shrugged. “If you don’t believe me you can check the report from the Science Department, submitted approximately two hours before their destruction. And you can always requisition the tapes from the SOLDIER training rooms. It’s quite impressive, if I do say so myself.”

Reno shook his head in disbelief. “So trophy wife is a threat, huh?”

Tseng hummed, narrowing his eyes. “Currently we believe Sephiroth is the threat, but so long as Strife is doing his bidding, then yes, by proxy, he is also a potential problem.”

“Don’t you worry, boss,” Reno said, cracking his knuckles menacingly. “We’ll keep an eye on the kid.”

“Hmph. Just don’t lose your key card again. Otherwise I might have to begin considering you as a potential accomplice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry updates on this are so irregular - I only write for the crack fics when inspiration or writer's block strikes. So normally all my focus is on the main fic :)
> 
> Also, please keep in mind that these aren't in any particular order. Once I'm done I think I'll try to rearrange the chapters into something that makes more sense, but right now I'm just writing them as they come. 
> 
> Also, where did this trend of making Reno say "yo" all the time come from? Like I don't think he ever says that in canon - but it's in practically EVERY fic he's in. I'm super curious!


	5. Tailing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter - I honestly couldn't think of any way to expand this and decided to just keep it as a short conversation.

They were halfway through their circuit by the time Reno recognized the prickling sensation between his shoulder blades as someone watching him. Pausing abruptly in his steps, he turned, eyes fixed furiously at the far wall.

“Hey blondie, why’re you following us?”

Strife smirked, stepping out from around the corner and giving a careless shrug. “I keep getting lost and your hair is hard to miss,” he replied evenly.

“Bullshit,” Reno spat angrily. “You’re tailing us.”

Strife just shrugged again. “Okay.”

Reno’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not even gonna try and deny it?”

“Should I?” Strife deadpanned, not missing a beat.

“What are you playing at?” Reno hissed.

He shrugged a third time. “Not playing at anything. Just doing my job.”

“And that would be?”

Strife smirked. “Super-secret SOLDIER stuff. You?”

Reno just scowled.

Strife’s smirk only broadened. “Since neither of us can talk about it, maybe we should just keep going?” He gestured down the hall. “You were headed for the archive room, right?”

“You know too much,” Reno grumbled.

“I’m very well read.”

Reno scoffed. “I doubt that.”

Strife snorted. “How would you know? You gonna double check with your extensive literary knowledge?”

“Hey, watch who you’re talking to, blondie!”

“Okay.”

Rude sighed, placing a hand on his partner’s shoulder. “Let’s just keep going. Kid can tail us if he wants.”

Reno glowered, crossing his arms in a frustrated pout. “That really a good idea?”

Rude shrugged. “You know he’s just gonna follow us anyways.”

Reno bit his lip, wishing he could deny it, but they both knew it was true.

Strife just smirked. Apparently he knew it too. 

“Fine,” Reno spat, snapping his mag rod angrily at his side. “But you better stay out of our way!”

Strife raised an eyebrow smugly. “You sure that’s what you want?”

“What I  _ want  _ is for you to fall headfirst from the top of the building,” Reno grumbled. Then abruptly he frowned, his eyes narrowing. “…Again.”

Strife just shrugged, pushing past him and beginning to walk down the hall in the exact direction they’d previously been headed. “That wasn’t from the top of the building though.”

Reno glared after him. “Well maybe second time’s a charm.”

“Oh, come on,” Strife joked, tossing him an amused glance. “You know you’d miss me.”

“Yeah, like a hole in the head.”

“Hmm. You might need it to let out all that built up pressure.”

Reno frowned. “What are you saying?”

Rude smirked, adjusting his glasses. “I believe he’s saying you’re full of hot air.”

Reno’s eyes narrowed. “Keep talking, blondie. See where it gets you.” 

“Hopefully to the archives,” Strife mused, his chin tilted thoughtfully. “Or are we just gonna stand here and keep talking?” 

“Lead the way then,” Reno hissed, indicating down the hall with a casual hand. Strife smirked, stepping forward. It wasn’t until he was several yards away that Reno turned to his partner, a strained grimace on his face. 

“Gods, that kid is annoying.”

Rude chuckled, patting his shoulder reassuringly. “You’re just mad cause he reminds you of you.” 

“So?” Reno grumbled, rolling his neck in annoyance. “Never said I _wasn’t_ annoying.”

"Admit it," Rude pressed with a smile. "You like the kid." 

"I like a challenge. _That,"_ he pointed at Strife, "is a nuisance." 

"Hmph. So are you."

"Whatever," Reno sneered, flexing his gloved fingers idly as he made to follow his partner down the hall. "At least I'm better looking. And taller." 

"Is that with or without the platforms in your shoes?" Strife's voice trickled back to them, prompting Reno to bristle with annoyance. One look at the kid's smug face though, those now familiar Mako-bright eyes glimmering with amusement, and he sighed in defeat.  Maybe Rude was right. Maybe he didn't hate the kid. If nothing else at least, he was a worthy adversary.

"Come on, chocobo-ass," he called, his voice dry with sarcasm as he swept by the SOLDIER. "Let's go look at some books."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the platform shoes are a reference to an earlier drabble - I don't know why, I just think it's funny to think that Reno wears shoes to make him taller cause he's secretly a little insecure about how small he is. 
> 
> Also I didn't intend this at first, but Reno, like Sephiroth, is basically coming to the conclusion that Cloud is way too fun to hate. 
> 
> Basically Cloud is an unhateable enemy.


	6. The Altercation in the Labs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The incident from chapter 21, but from Reno's perspective.

This was a shit assignment. _Had_ been a shit assignment for a while now, but this really took the cake. It was bad enough, trying to tail the head of SOLDIER while a certain blond nuisance tailed _them_ , but this…this was just insane.

“Whatcha doin’ there mister general, sir?”

Sephiroth turned, eyeing the incongruous pair before him.

Yeah, if he survived this, he was definitely tendering his resignation.

The famed Silver General regarded them dispassionately. “Hmph. I thought I told Cloud to take care of you two.”

Reno slapped the mag rod against his palm, more for something to distract himself than as any real show of intimidation. That would have been laughable. “You mean blondie? Yeah, kid’s been giving us the run around. But we’re the Turks. Aint nothing we can’t do when we set our minds to it.”

Sephiroth gave a cold smile. “Is that so?”

“What, don’t believe us?” Reno taunted, putting on his normal display of bluster. “Guess we’ll just have to show you then.”

Sephiroth chuckled softly. “I hardly have time for your games, sewer rat. Take your inane squeaking somewhere else.”

Reno scoffed, slightly offended as he exchanged a glance with his partner. “You hear this guy? Callin’ me a rat? Just who the hell does he think he is?”

From behind his dark-tinted glasses, Rude’s reassuring brown gaze met him evenly as he lightly tugged on his leather gloves. “Maybe he needs a reminder of who he works for.” And despite his trepidation, Reno couldn’t help but smirk at the man, fingers clenching around his weapon. Rude was ever the professional.

Across from them Sephiroth hummed, a dangerous glint in his eerie, alien eyes as he reached calmly for the sword on his hip. “Very well. I’ll indulge. If you are so eager for a fight, then perhaps it is time I deal with you myself.”

Reno’s eyes widened fractionally. Beside him Rude tensed, knees bent into a fighting stance as Sephiroth began to advance slowly.

But before he could even raise his mag rod to defend himself there a heavy crash from somewhere above, a vague flash of navy and gold, and then suddenly his backside was connecting violently with the ground. Shaking his head in shock, Reno struggled back into a sitting position, freezing in shock when he saw the source of all the commotion. Because standing just a few feet away, poised defensively in front of them with that ridiculous sword aimed straight at Sephiroth, was one blond annoyance.

“Step aside, _Cloud_ ,” Sephiroth all but hissed.

Although Reno supposed in this situation - and this situation alone - he was thankful for the man’s interference.

Strife shook his ridiculous spikes. “Not gonna happen.”

Sephiroth’s eyes narrowed. “Are you challenging me?” There was a hidden threat buried in the words - something beyond the obvious fact that going up against Sephiroth was practically suicide. At the moment, however, Reno was way too absorbed in the bizarre performance going on before his very eyes to truly ponder its meaning. Eyes darting rapidly between the two swordsmen, he made to get to his feet, keeping one hand curled protectively around his mag rod.

“I can’t let you hurt them Sephiroth,” Strife was saying, expression firm and shoulders miraculously not shaking.

_How -_

“Out of my way!” the Sephiroth snarled, bringing his overly-long-must-be-compensating-for-something sword down in a menacing arc. Instantly Reno tensed, ready to defend himself, but before the blade could even reach him there was a resounding clang as metal struck metal, and Reno’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as the smaller warrior appeared to actually be _holding his own_ against the famed General.

Sephiroth’s eyes blazed between their locked blades, lips curled in a menacing snarl. “How dare –,”

But Strife cut him off through gritted teeth, arm muscles bulging as he actually managed to shove Sephiroth backwards. “We have a deal!”

Reno blinked. What the hell?

Sephiroth just sneered, eyes glittering with anticipation as he taunted, “Are you done avoiding me, then?”

Reno frowned at that, shooting his partner a glance. He’d known things between the two asylum-escapees had been on the rocks, but this…

“Get the hell out of here!” Strife barked, dragging him back to the present.

Reno scoffed. Yeah. Like that was gonna happen. But a warning noise from Sephiroth had him quickly reevaluating his options.

“Eyes on me, _Cloud_ ,” he purred, and even Reno recoiled at the way he said Strife’s name. There was just something, well… _sinful_ about it. Reno unconsciously took a step backwards, his expression twisting in horror. Gaia, he’d meant all those sexual jabs and innuendos only as insults and jibes. There wasn’t any way Sephiroth was actually fu –

“Now that I have your full attention…”

Reno’s eyes widened, the trail of thought abruptly abandoned as he dove to the side, tugging futilely on his partner’s arm. “Holy shit, get out of the way!” He didn’t know what was about to go down, but the manic gleam in Sephiroth’s eyes was downright unsettling.

Sure enough the moment they were out of the way the two SOLDIERs were practically flying at one another, and then suddenly Strife was wielding two swords instead of one, spinning and flailing in a fury of silver and gold. Sephiroth pulled back, his long arms arching gracefully as he brought that ridiculous pig sticker forward in a high slash, forcing Strife back onto his heels. Strife blocked it, raising his left arm to counter the blow while stabbing out with his right. Sephiroth leapt out of the way, his lips arched in a haughty smirk before diving right back in. Strife ducked away, knees bending as he kicked off the ground, his blades meeting Sephiroth’s with a whistle and a clang.

For a few moments Reno could only gawk as the two warriors engaged in battle, swords flashing bright and eyes flashing even brighter. They were a blur of silver and black as they tore through the observation room, rending the floor and ceiling alike into tattered shreds of peeling metal. Sephiroth cut a formidable figure, every bit the terrifying Silver General he was famed to be with his long, free-flowing hair and whipping coat spread out behind him like wings, but the real surprise was Strife. His eyes glowed a piercing blue as he dodged and parried, his whole form seeming to shine with unnatural light as he danced through the air.

Everywhere Sephiroth was, Strife met him, the ringing sounds of blade meeting blade tearing through the empty space. If Sephiroth feinted left, Strife followed. If Sephiroth took to the air, Strife was hot on his heels.

Reno had never seen anything like it.

And then just as suddenly as it began, it ended. Strife came hurtling back to the ground, landing in a neat crouch before them as Sephiroth seemed to all but float down to rest his feet on the concrete floor, his hair and coat rustling softly along with his movements. Strife tensed, raising his blades in challenge, but Sephiroth just stood still, tilting his head to the side in what appeared to be mild curiosity. Or perhaps it was amusement. It was always so difficult to tell with him.

Still bearing that eerie smirk, Sephiroth lowered his sword, his eyes briefly darting to Reno before at last settling back onto Strife. For a moment his gaze shown with something like fondness, and he tilted his head back, letting out a light, breathy laugh. Reno blinked, sure he had misheard, but then Sephiroth was back to his regular predatory self. His lips twitched coolly as he regarded Strife, eyes glittering with cold excitement.

“We will continue this later.”

Like a shadow he turned, melting back against the doorway and disappearing out into the hall beyond, leaving them alone with Strife.

“Uh…” Reno swallowed, taking a tentative step forward. Strife was still staring at the exit, his entire body frozen as if he were locked into place. “You wanna explain to me what just happened.”

Blond locks rustled as Strife shook his head. “Not particularly.”

Reno scoffed. “Yeah, not gonna cut it.”

Strife turned, his expression hard and his eyes surprisingly cold. “Do I look like I care?”

Reno raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, you expect us to almost get sliced to bits by Shinra’s Star SOLDIER himself, and then just walk away like nothing happened?”

“Yes.”

Reno snorted, crossing his arms. “Not gonna happen.”

Strife sighed, his shoulders slumping. In place of his anger, exhaustion now read in every line of his body. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourselves into.”

Rude cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses. “Doesn’t matter. If there’s something wrong with the General, it’s our job as Turks to investigate it.”

Strife winced, though there were no wounds to be seen on his form. “Look, just stay out of it, okay?”

Reno shook his head. “Can’t do that, pal. A job’s a job. And someone’s gotta make sure the cranky General doesn’t go off the deep-end.”

Strife paused, before fixing him with an oddly intense look. “This isn’t your fight.”

Reno raised his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, come again?”

“You heard me. It’s better if you just stay out of it.”

“And why is that?”

“You wouldn’t be able to stop him,” came the simple reply.

“Oh, and you can?” Although it wasn’t that far-fetched of a question. Not after the display they’d just witnessed.

Strife grimaced, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Just...look I know you’re gonna go tell all of this to Tseng - I can’t stop you. I’ll even go talk to him myself if it comes to that just...watch where you step. Sephiroth is dangerous. Let your guard down and he’ll skewer you without a second thought.”

Reno smirked. “Careful blondie, almost sounds like you care.”

Strife’s lip twitched into a half grin as he turned, glancing amusedly over his shoulder. “I know. Sometimes I scare even myself.”

Reno couldn’t help but shake his head fondly as he watched the warrior walk confidently down the hall. “Where you goin’ now?” he called after him.

Strife’s shoulders visibly slumped for a split second. Then he was back to his normal, stoic self, even if his tone belied a deeper concern. “I just kicked the hornet’s nest,” he said softly, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor. “Gotta go face up to it.”

Reno’s brow furrowed with concern as he watched the other man walk away. What the hell did _that_ mean? It certainly didn’t sound good. He couldn’t help it - a part of him was actually worried for the guy. Sephiroth’s parting words had sounded ominous at best, and workplace rivals of Strife’s caliber didn’t just fall from trees. He may have been a bastard, but he was an oddly likeable one.

Reno turned to his partner and sighed. “Come on Rude, let’s go report in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've actually had this one written for a while now, but was going to wait until I had the rest of the Turk drabbles up to post it. but...seeing as I keep coming up with new ones, I'm just posting this one now lol. Also sorry for lack of updates in the main fic - I had a weird, kind of stressful incident at the beginning of this past week, and it left me not really wanting to write for a while. I think I'm slowly getting back into it though? Hopefully? 
> 
> I think once all the drabbles are posted I'm gonna reorder the chapters into something more chronological, but for now I'm just posting as they come to me. I really want to just get something out there so I feel productive, you know?


End file.
